Love Square
by IAmYourNewGod
Summary: Lisa gets back together with Nelson, but Bart & Milhouse have other ideas for her while one character makes a return to Springfield.


ACT I

It was a nice ordinary Friday afternoon and 8-year-old Lisa Simpson was strolling happily back to her home. She had gotten another A from a test and was set to spend most of her weekend on a school project.

All the sudden Lisa's eyes fixated on something in the distance. Nelson was there, just standing around with some lame-o's. "What's going on Nelson? Why aren't you beating them up like you usually do?"  
"Nah, I just don't see the point. I'm not really even like that anymore. Do you mind if I walk with you?"  
"Of course not. What's on your mind?"  
"Nothing special. Just thought I'd check what's going on with you", Nelson said while walking with his hands in his pockets and looking away, faking disinterest.  
"Well I'm going to work on a school project for the whole weekend, unless something comes up", Lisa told excitedly.  
"Um, okay. What about after that?"  
"I haven't decided. Where are you coming to, Nelson?" Lisa asked.  
"I don't know, I just..."  
"You'd want to do something with me?"  
"Yeah... Yeah! That's it. Some... stuff."  
"I don't know Nelson..."  
"It doesn't have to be anything like that."  
"Like what?"  
"Umm, nothing."  
"It doesn't have to be anything like nothing?"  
"No. I mean yeah. Kind of."  
"What."

This ankward dialogue seemed that it could go on for a while as neither didn't want to blurt out the thing both of them were clearly thinking.

Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse were spying on them in the bushes.  
"Weird to see Nelson being such a babbling idiot", Bart said.  
"It's not that weird." Milhouse replied defensively.  
"Oh come on. You don't mean you still have a thing for Lisa?"  
"Of course. Why wouldn't I have?"  
"Well, firstly she doesn't like you. Or wait, she does like you, but as she say it herself, 'like a big sister'. That's lame, man. And she is stupid."  
"You know that's not true", Milhouse said, getting angry, about as angry as he really could get for Bart.  
"Okay, fine", Bart snapped but then he turned his attention back towards Nelson and Lisa. "Well I'll be damned. Looks like you just lost the little hope you had."

Lisa and Nelson started walking holding hands and staring each other. It was still ankward, but not as much as it was before.  
"I still don't know. You sure you won't just lie to me again?" Lisa quizzed.  
"Lisa, it was a long time ago. I'm a changed person. But are you just sure that you really can skip working on that school project for tonight?"  
"I won't be skipping it completely, Nelson. Just putting it off a little. I can do it well easily in two days too."  
"Shame that means you can't see me during the rest of the weekend, then."  
"Not necessarily", Lisa says slyly. "You could help me. But for today, let's just spend the day together doing 'other stuff'"  
"Umm, okay", Nelson said, wondering what this 'other stuff' might be.

Nelson and Lisa walked into the distance and Milhouse was looking broken in the bushes.  
"Oh no, I'm done for.", Milhouse bemoaned. "I don't really see what you see in her", Bart commented, "but in any case, I doubt that will last very long. Don't worry about it Milhouse."  
"You're just saying that", Milhouse sobbed, "Just moments ago you said that I'd have no chance with her anyway."  
"We'll sorry man. But it's true if you don't do anything about it."  
"What do you mean?" Milhouse asked, wiping his tears away.  
"It's like this", Bart started explaining, "If you really want to be with my sister, you should really just take control and make her see you. No girl ever liked a wimp like you. I'm sorry to say that but it's the truth, man."  
"My mom says I'm tough."  
"Sure you are, but I'm just saying that you appear wimp to Lisa. Yeah, that's it. You just need to change the way she sees you."  
"How?" Milhouse asked getting curious.  
"I dunno. It's your problem, you should solve it."  
"Ow, I'm not good at solving problems."

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Colin, who has just popped out of nowhere, asked from Bart and Milhouse.  
"Colin? I thought you moved away", Bart noted.  
"Yeah, well I couldn't stand staying away from Lisa very long. Where is she?"  
"Umm, she... isn't around", Bart stalled trying to conjure up a lie. "She won't be back until tonight. I'll tell her to come see you once she gets back."  
"Okay, thanks Bart. You're a true friend."  
"Yeah... Friend."  
Milhouse was watching Bart, confused why he had just told Colin a lie. Colin was just about to leave, but then seemed to remember something.  
"Oh, Bart. Here's my address to give for Lisa that she knows where to come", Colin said and wrote up the address on a piece of paper. Bart picked it up and read it.  
"Nice, you live pretty close."  
"Yeah, it's cool. I hope to see Lisa a lot in the future."  
"Not if I have any say on that", Milhouse said with silent fury. His hands were tightly clenched and he had gotten tense.  
"Who's this guy?" Colin asked.  
"Milhouse... It's Milhouse", Bart said looking annoyed in the way Milhouse were acting.  
"What are you doing Milhouse?" He whispered to him after pulling him aside. Milhouse was still fixated on Colin.  
"I'm going to kick your ass!" Milhouse shouted and prepared to jump right at Colin. Bart grabbed him just in time and stopped him. "Huh?" Colin was confused.  
"Milhouse what's wrong with you? What are you doing?" Bart asked annoyed while keeping a firm hold on Milhouse. "Let me at him!" Milhouse hissed, trying to squirm free. Bart turned to Colin while holding Milhouse.  
"Move along, Colin. I need to settle this between us."  
"Um, okay", Colin replied and then walked away while muttering "Weird kid."

"Milhouse, what the hell?" Bart shouted angrily once Colin was far away.  
"You told me to take control. Colin wants to be her boyfriend. I need to kick that guy's ass!"  
"Didn't you notice I have a plan? Besides, you couldn't beat Maggie, how the hell are you going to beat someone about your size?"  
"What plan? Maggie is tough, it's not fair to compare me to her."  
"Forget about Maggie already! I didn't lie to Colin for no reason. Colin appearing now was a blessing in disguise."  
"How come?"  
"We can use Nelson and Colin against each other. Lisa will end up empty-handed, I mean with you."  
"Why didn't you just send him to see Nelson and Lisa then?"  
"Because Lisa is with Nelson now and if Colin would have met them, Lisa would have simply told that she is with him now. But if she meets Colin separately and hears how he returned just to see more of her, she can never reject him." Bart stopped to wait for some kind of positive response, but Milhouse just stared blankly.  
"I don't get it."  
"Let's just meet here later today, I'll show you the plan in action", Bart groaned.  
"Okay."

So the evening came and Lisa, who had stayed the whole day somewhere with Nelson, returned home hopping happily like a rabbit. She had had a fully enjoyable day with Nelson. Things were about to get complicated, though.

Bart had knew that Lisa was coming home, so he had noticed Colin about it and fixed it so that they would meet close to their house, in front of the same bush hideout from which they could follow how the situation unfolded without being noticed themselves. He just fetched Milhouse and got there just in time.  
"I wonder if this is going to work", Milhouse whispered while watching hopefully towards Lisa, who was walking towards Colin, but had not yet noticed him.  
"Don't worry. Lisa is as predictable as anyone in these situations", Bart reassured.

Then it happened - Lisa noticed Colin. "Colin!" she shouted from the distance excitedly. Then they ran towards each other and Colin embraced Lisa.  
"I'm so... surprised to see you! And happy, of course happy", Lisa told him. She had a touch of insecurity in her words. "I was so upset when I heard you'd move away before we even got started."  
"Well so was I. I made the only correct decision and moved here permanently to live here with my uncle and aunt. Unfortunately my dad still has to move around. But I'd do anything just to see you regularly."  
"You mean... That you moved back here just because of me?"  
"We'll I couldn't have moved because of quality education, could I?" Colin grinned. "Of course, Lisa."

"That is so romantic", Lisa though to herself. "But what about Nelson?" the other side of her mind responded.  
"I don't know. I like him too and it would be wrong to just dump him after one day - especially since it was so great of a day", Lisa kept thinking. "I might not get a third chance with him if this thing with Colin doesn't work out."  
"Well you might not get another chance with Colin either", the inner dialogue continued. Her mind was racing.  
"I can't decide!" his mind yelped helplessly in the end.

"What plans you have for tomorrow?" Colin asked, snapping Lisa back to reality.  
"Umm, I'm really busy. I have to work on a school project."  
"Cool! Can I help you?"  
"No! I mean, I'd rather do it by myself", she found herself lying, knowing perfectly well that just moments ago, while parting with Nelson, she had promised to him that he could help him. "Oh come on, I'd be very helpful. What's the project about?"  
"Envirom... I mean, umm.. Weapon industry."  
"Hey, that's my favorite subject! You surely don't know anything about it?"  
"Wha-a? You know weapons? I thought you loved the earth, peace and all that stuff... just like me?"  
"Well is there anything more loving earth than a good, powerful gun?"  
"Uhh, okay." Lisa just said plainly. She tried to rationalize what Colin had just said, but couldn't figure it out.  
"Actually, that doesn't make much sense", she finally confessed, "Could you explain it a bit?"  
"Haven't you seen Zardoz? That's my favorite movie. I base most of my life ideology on it's message", Colin answered.  
"I guess I should check it out", Lisa said genuinely interested.  
"But yeah, what about that project, will you let me help you?"  
"Sure..." Lisa answered and her mind was already racing, trying to figure out how to handle tomorrow.

"See?" Bart said, feeling like he should boast a little, but in the end he decided against it. He was actually a little scared by Milhouse's insane evil grin.  
"My master plan... Is coming to fruition..." He chuckled to himself while rubbing his hands.  
"Your master plan? Hello, I was the one who came up with it!" Bart bellowed.  
"Oh, sorry", Milhouse said as he snapped out of his moment of insanity.

ACT II

When Lisa had parted ways with Nelson last night, she had had a clear vision of saturday in her mind. She would have worked on her school project about environmentalism with Nelson and enjoy the day. But now she found herself doing a report on weapon industries with Colin and totally hating it. She enjoyed obviously being with Colin, but Colin was exhibiting a side of him that she really didn't care for. That said, she wouldn't have even known where to start with the subject material so Colin really proved useful. Then again, she wouldn't even had been writing about weapons had in not been for Colin and her lie trying to prevent meeting him today.

"Nelson would probably enjoy this", Lisa sighed as Colin lectured enthusiastically about some gun. She had called Nelson and lied that she had gotten sick, so he couldn't come today. She felt terrible for the fact that she had kept lying and couldn't really explain why she had done it. But the reason was simple - she had not made a decision between Nelson and Colin so subconsciously her mind was just keeping the options open. "Oh, I so see where this is going", she thought to herself again, "I have to come clean. These things always get found out sooner or later."

Milhouse was sitting on the Simpsons' couch, waiting for Bart. There was a re-run of Itchy and Scratchy on.

Finally Bart come down and joined Milhouse. "Now the final phase of our plan", he proclaimed.  
"What is it?"  
"Informing Nelson about Lisa's whereabouts. It has to be natural though, just so that Nelson doesn't suspect anything.  
"Got it", Milhouse said.

They walked up to Nelson's house and knocked on the door of the tumbledown shack. There was a moment of waiting and then Nelson emerged to open the door. "What do you guys want?"  
"We were just in the neigbourhood. Thought that we'd tell you about the shit that has been going on."  
"Alright. What shit?"  
"It's really nasty shit", Milhouse described.  
"Yeah, if I were you I'd check out this address right now", Bart told Nelson while giving him the piece of paper that had Colin's address.  
"Alright, thanks dudes." Nelson said and pushed Bart and Milhouse aside. He started walking towards Colin's house, that would be some way away. Nelson muttered to himself something about how unnatural Bart & Milhouse's visit and the things they had said had seemed.

"Alright, everything is set. I really liked that 'Nasty shit' line, Milhouse."  
"Thanks. Lisa is surely going to like me after this!"  
"Yeah..."

After that short bit of chatting Bart and Milhouse started running. They were in a hurry to see the showdown and had to use a detour so that Nelson wouldn't see them.

ACT III

Finally Bart and Milhouse arrived at their hideout near Colin's house. The hideout had a good view on both second floor window, where Colin's room was, and to the front door, where Nelson would no doubt soon be. All this while they themselves would be practically invisible. Lisa was in the window, watching to the horizon with dreamy, absent eyes and leaning to her hands. "Lisa, I can't do all of this for you", Colin interrupted, snapping Lisa right out of it. "It wouldn't be right."  
"Oh, I'm sorry."  
"What's wrong? You seem like there's something on pre-occupying your mind."  
"It's nothing. I'm just sorta tired, but it'll get better." Lisa explained. There was a knock in the door.

Nelson was there. "I wonder what is the 'nasty shit' that is going on here", Nelson said to himself while waiting for someone to open. He watched around himself and peeked at the window, noticing spike of Lisa's hair in the window.  
"Lisa? It can't be, she's sick. It has to be someone else. But who the hell would have such a hairdo?"  
As there was nobody else home, Colin got up and headed down. Lisa decided to have a look down the window. She was curious about who was in the door. Just as Nelson got distracted by Colin opening the door, Lisa looked down the window and went pale. "Nelson!" she yelped and jumped away from the window. "I hope he didn't notice me."

"Hi there, what do you want?" Colin asked Nelson.  
"Umm, I really don't know. I just heard there was some... stuff going on here. Is Lisa here?" Nelson mumbled a bit insecurely.  
"Lisa Simpson?"  
"Yeah, her. I though I saw him at the window earlier."  
"Well sure she is. We're working on her school project at the moment."  
"You are? What the hell?"  
"It's about to get good", Bart chuckled to himself in the hideout.

"Nelson, I guess I owe you an explanation", Lisa exlaimed from the stairs, hurrying down to settle the incident.  
"Lisa! I thought you were sick? Who's this asshole?"  
"It's Colin. I'm sorry but I lied to you."  
"You... Lied to me?" Nelson said, feeling his hear shred apart inside him. "I guess I had that coming to me. Now I know how it feels. You really know how to take a revenge. Sending Bart to fetch me..."  
"Bart? What? I never intended you to know."  
"Ouch. Keep hurting me."  
"I didn't mean it like that."  
"Could someone tell me what's going on?" Colin demanded.

"I'm dissapointed at Nelson's reaction", Bart bemoaned in the hideout. "He is such a wuss nowadays."  
"Yeah, I guess I have to get down there and show that Colin guy that Lisa's my girlfriend."  
"What?" Bart asked and turned to him, but it was already too late, as Milhouse was heading down to face Colin and Nelson off.

ACT IV

"Tell me the truth", Colin kept demanding.  
"Nelson is my boyfriend. He was meant to help me with my project, but I lied to him that I was sick after I conveniently met you and you insisted you wanted to help me with my school project. I just couldn't tell you that I was with Nelson already after hearing you had moved back just for me."  
"I WAS your boyfriend. I can't be with someone I can't trust", Nelson noted.  
"I'm really sorry Nelson. I swear this wasn't a plotted revenge on you, even if it might seem like it."  
"Lisa, this isn't like you to lie to people. I can see that you really hurt Nelson", Colin summarized.  
"I'm so sorry."  
"I'm really disillusioned right now", Nelson moaned. Milhouse arrived and pushed him aside.  
"Alright, now we are gonna settle this", he said trying to appear tough. Bart was running towards them in the background.  
"Milhouse? Bart? What's going on?" Lisa asked. She seemed confused to say the least.  
"You're gonna be MY GIRL from now on!"  
"What? No!"  
"No? I thought you broke up with Nelson."  
"How do you know that? Were Bart and you spying on us?"

Bart arrived to the group just in time to hear Milhouse answer:  
"Yeah, the whole thing was orchestrated by us so that I could get you."  
"D'oh", Bart snapped. "Idiot."  
"Wha-a?"  
"It was my master plan, executed to sheer perfection."  
"You made Nelson come here?" Lisa asked with an incredulous face.  
"Milhouse, you wasn't suppose to tell it to her!"  
"Well, the plan didn't work, so I thought that I could at least impress her with my plotting ability."  
"Milhouse, I think it's sweet that you care about me enough to plot the two of your rivals against each other, but how the hell was that suppose to get us together?"  
"Lisa swears", Milhouse just said shocked.  
"It wasn't Milhouse's plan!"  
"Nobody cares whose plan it was!" Lisa shouted angrily. "Because of it, I'm now all alone again."  
"Well, not all alone", Colin interrupted.

"What do you mean? Would you be with me even after I deceived you?"  
"You cared about me enough to deceive me", Colin smiled.  
"Umm, I guess that's one way of putting it."  
"That, and I did come all the way from Ireland back JUST for you, so I would be fool not to forgive you one mistake."  
"Oh, thanks Colin", Lisa sighed relieved and threw herself to hug Colin.

"Alright, that does it. I'm gonna beat you up, Irish bastard!" Milhouse snarled at Colin.  
"Milhouse, I don't think it's a good idea." Bart tried to intercept.  
"Shut up!" Milhouse snapped right back at him. Milhouse started to walk toward Colin with an intense gaze.  
"Come on Milhouse, I won't be with you even if you beat up Colin. Like that's ever going to happen", Lisa tried to talk some sense into him. "Fine, whatever, like a four-eyes like you could beat anyone", Colin insulted him, uncharacteristically.

Milhouse's fist flew through the air. He had used all of his strenght. The fist smashed against Colin's nose, opening the floodgates of blood from the inside.  
"Jesus Christ!" Colin said, holding his nose. "It's broken."

Colin started sobbing with a disbelieving face at what had just happened. He rushed inside, smashing the door shut behind him.

"Wow Milhouse, I didn't know you had it in you", Bart commented.  
"Me neither", Milhouse replied, still shaking from the excitement. "I beat up your boyfriend, so how it'll be, Lisa" he said then over-confidently.  
"I don't think so", Lisa answered. "But I don't feel like being with Colin either."  
"So I have a chance?" Milhouse asked, sounding hopeful.  
"I guess so." Lisa said slyly and then started walking home.  
"Did you hear that, Bart? She said I have a chance! All because I beat up Colin."  
"Umm, sure, yeah."  
"I know what to do now. I have to start training to gain muscle, so that I can beat anyone that wants to be Lisa's boyfriend. Eventually she'll take me!"  
"Sure thing, that's certain to work!" Bart responded cheerfully.


End file.
